Immunisations, by Torin Knuckey

Gosh, what's happening today? Dad's put me in my car seat and I'm actually getting into his car for a change. I do like going for a drive... Now where are we? Oh look, it's mummy. How cold is it outside the car? A blanket over the top, very clever. Ahh, indoors. Great. Mummy's taking my clothes off, she's so clever to know I need a bum change and she's put one of those weird throw-away nappies on. I wonder what's going on.

Oh daddy's back and he's carrying me somewhere, naked! Brrr, cold white thing and I have to keep still. Something about 11 lbs 15. I wonder what that means and then I'm stretched on a rack. 58cms? What's that. Thank you for putting my clothes on but why leave my legs out?

Hey, there's a pretty lady talking to us now. She's telling mummy and daddy some stuff and it all seems quite important. Oh gosh, mummy's going to feed me. I didn't tell her I was hungry but this is all goooooo {pause} OWWWWW! What was that in my leg? OWWWW? And again. I am indignant, that wasn't funny at all. Don't look at me and say 'it's ok' because it isn't. I shall proceed to cry and wail. MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

OK, now you're turning me upside down (ok, other way around). I think I'll stiffen my legs a bit. You wouldn't be stupid enough to do it again, would you? .... ARGH! You are, oucheeee! That HURT! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That really really hurt. 4 times! What kind of a pin cushion am I? DDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

:(